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“She was clearly the best man among them,” A British journalist wrote about Margret Thatcher years ago, reporting from a world summit of leaders where she was the only woman. I don’t know Margret Thatcher personally; she may very well be a doting grand mother who prunes the roses in her garden and asks her husband to “go slower” when they make love. But she has become the absolute symbol of everything women don’t want to be in the twenty-first century; hard, competetive and forceful; trying to prove that we can be as good as any man. As women we are realizing we don’t want to be as good as any man; we want to be ourselves and bring our unique feminine qualities into the world instead. We are beginning to take our place as leaders, initiators and teachers while keeping our sensitivity, intuition and deeply feeling heart that cares for all living beings. We bring Aphrodite (Greek Goddess of sensuality and love) and Quan Yin (universal mother of compassion) to the work place, as well as Kali (fierce Goddess of death and rebirth) to cut through delusions and speak up for human values and truth. Women are stepping out of the male box and applying their own creative, non-linear and sensual way of doing things. A female lead board meeting may happen while the board members give each other a foot massage. Women bring candles, scented oils and their yoga mats to work like never before, they run home based business while the children play on the office floor and they do business in a way that reflects their care for all living beings and the earth. Women make money by doing what feels true to them, following their intuition and inner guidance, not worrying so much about “the market” or trends. Many companies are picking up the feminine values and offer yoga, meditation, massage, communication skill classes and team building activities for their employees. As a whole we are beginning to understand that we not only want to reach our goals, we want to actually enjoy the process of getting there. We don’t want to be drained, overwhelmed and exhausted, practically dead to reach our deadlines. (Can someone please come up with a better word?) Author Anna Quindlen said ”We are at a moment of synthesis, of balance, a middle ground. And that is the point at which we realize that work, influence, even power with no countervailing forces, no intimacy, no family, no sense of connection to others, is for many of us no kind of life at all.” Men more easily disconnect from their heart and emotions, enduring lots of stress, only focusing on the goals and visions in their heads as they sit through another flight to another meeting. A woman sitting on the same plane, on the way to the same sales meeting, feels the stress in her body, the inner pressure, the long nights away from the children, not to mention the lack of time for slow, sensual lovemaking, and she complains loudly: “This doesn’t feeeel good to me, I want a less stressed schedule.” The gift of feminine complaining (yes, it has a gift!) is it speaks the voice of the body and of the experience in the moment. It honors the aching back and the emptiness and lack of true joy that comes with too much stress. It speaks up for the inner child and all our real children waiting to have mom and dads attention. Today. Now. What is the big rush anyway, women wonder. Why does everything have to be done so fast? Can’t we just all slow down a little and smell the roses? We will all reach our final deadline soon enough. The feminine likes to allow room for things to grow organically, in tune with the earth, and letting things to happen on their own. Trusting that after a clear intention has been set and the appropriate actions have been taken you can take a break for a while and let things unfold. And then you move into action again when the next wave of creativity arises from within. When there is a constant push forward and action without introspection you often lose your balance. Women are slowly proving that the feminine way is not only a healthier and more fun way to go about life, but in the long run also more profitable. Catalyst in New York, a leading research and advisory organization, released a study done during 1996-2000, which showed that companies with the largest percentage of women in leading positions had a 35% higher profit. And Oprah, the uber queen of feminine leadership, who says, “Power is the ability to impact with purpose,” certainly seems to be doing well financially. Oprah's vision of power highlights another important feminine value; there needs to be higher purpose, besides profit, to what we are doing. A higher inspiration that will create benefit and value not only for the customers of the company but also for the greater whole. Women hold the whole earth and all it’s living beings in their heart, especially after their own children are grown and they have more energy to directs towards the larger earth family. In the old Cherokee tribes no decision the chiefs made could be implemented without passing the approval of the grandmother’s counsel. Imagine how the world would be different if every government had a grand mother’s counsel! So what can a woman today do to keep her feminine energy and values intact as she enters a male work place? I spoke to Michelle Barry, who is a project manager with Venture Corporation in San Rafael and a member of the Bay Area Temple Group. She coordinates commercial building projects, in a predominantly male business. - Just go for it! The feminine had been suppressed for so long, it needs to come out. Be yourself, wear all the jewelry and make up you want and let your feminine heart show. I love to be woman and I show it and I also like to protect my sensitivity. So, when I enter the office I imagine that I have a protective aura of liquid steel around me, liquid so that it is flexible and steel so that it is impenetrable. I don’t want to take on people’s projections. I just want to stay in my own energy and I send any unwanted energy back with love.” Michelle is an in-your-face feminine woman with round curves, red lips and a Kali cat look in her eyes. “Some men who have unresolved issues with their mothers may be uncomfortable with me, but it is time for the healing to begin. We are not doing anyone a favor by suppressing the feminine. Ultimately we are all just longing to be ourselves and to be present with each other,” advices Michelle. Johanna, a friend of mine, who works in an all male computer business shared that she takes five minute “Goddess brakes” in the bathroom a couple of times each day. “I close my eyes, move my hips and the rest of my body in a soft sensual way. I massage my breasts just to feel that, yes, I am still a woman. Sometimes a “Goddess Body Rinse” gets me out of my head and into my feminine essence again: you let your hands slowly flow down your body, starting at the top of your head, down your face, chest and belly and then all the way down to your feet. Then I sit on the toilet seat and breathe deeply for a few minutes before I return to my desk.” “Self-esteem and self worth is often an issue for women, in general and in entering a male dominated business, says Tomi Sue Cunningham, who worked many years in “corporate America” before becoming a full-time mom. “Women need to do their own inner healing work and not expect the men to give them approval in order to feel good. Instead of walking into the office radiating insecurity women need to carry themselves with a quiet knowing of their innate values and gifts. Staying in touch with their hearts and yet be centered in their inner wisdom. The support of a women’s circle is invaluable for this.” The world is crying out for true leadership instead of the old boss concept. A leader transmits a vision that inspires co-workers to do their best and allow room for everyone’s unique gifts to come forth, naturally extinguishing competition. A leader is hardly noticed, elegantly leading without ego show-off, and when the job or project is completed everyone is happy, saying it happened by itself. This is the way of the feminine, the way of the heart and the way of a future balance between the masculine and feminine.
The Feminine Face of Leadership -indepth training with Chameli Ardagh & Helena Montelius April 2008 we will for the first time host an indepth training for women who want to explore healthy, creative and inspiring ways to share their gifts to the world. Chameli & Helena will share with you the secrets of how to lead groups the feminine way (we will focus on women's group but the principles are applicable to all kind of groups), you will receive individual coaching on finding and sharing your unique gifts to the world, and you will experience the magic space of the womens temple. This is only a little taste of the program that they are putting together... read more here Listen to Helena & Chameli talking about Feminine Leadership
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